Avoid Exposure to Fire and Water : April 2025
On punching Baby Yoda in the face, distant mystery planets, and inedible vegetable friends
What’s in a Name 💍
This week, I stood in a line outside the DMV for two hours, then in a line inside the DMV for another three and a half hours to get a Real ID, a federally compliant state-issued driver's license. Pennsylvania is one of the few states that has decided to make them optional instead of standard issue. The upcoming federal cutoff had been pushed back multiple times over the years, to the extent that none of us really took the need seriously or paid the extra fee for the upgrade when renewing a license. Now, with a firm deadline of May 7th, they’re required to enter federal buildings or board a plane, unless you want to lug your passport around with you all the time.
When I got married, I kept my maiden name. But standing in the queue, I came to understand that I am most definitely in the minority. Real ID issuance requires you to bring multiple forms of identification as proof of who you are, with the expectation that all papers would match: birth certificate or social security card, driver’s license, utility bill receipts. Pew estimates that 8 in 10 women in the United States changes their name after marriage. For all the ladies shuffling alongside me, there was confusion, frustration, and often defeat as they attempted to string together pieces of paper to accurately tell the story of their legal lives.
“This is my third try this week,” one told me, marriage certificate finally in hand. She didn’t own a passport, and had tickets to fly for a business trip in a few days. And she’s not alone. Only 56% of Americans have a passport. Pennsylvania’s individual stats fall a bit lower at 46%. Compare that to UK stats, where international travel is far more common between small countries, and 86.5% of citizens possess a passport.
It all begs the question of why we are so reliant on paper in this digital age. I watched a man twice my age ask the counter clerk to borrow tape, his birth certificate disintegrating as he unfolded it for inspection. The envelope I keep my own social security card in bares its mail processing stamp from the 80s, now yellowed from decades in file cabinets and fire safes. By nature, paper is made to decay and return to earth. So why use it to create things you’re expected to hold onto for the rest of your life? Refusing to even laminate such important vouchers for who we are feels dated, perhaps cheap, and definitely foolish.
What I’m Watching 🍿
Star Wars fatigue is real. After Disney bought the franchise, they released a deluge of so-so spinoff series that were hard to keep track of, middling in their storytelling, and largely disappointing (let us not talk about what they did to Boba Fett). The Baby Yoda phenomenon benefited from an early pandemic captive audience, but overstayed its welcome far too long, to the point that every clearance rack in your local big box store was filled with overstocked Grogu chia pets and graphic tees.
Separate from all of these is Andor.
The second season began this week, after a three year break. It’s easily the darkest of all Star Wars stories—how could it not be when we know that it ends with Rogue One? The first three episodes culminated with an assault scene that probably deserved a content warning and divided fans for its unexpected presence in a family-friendly franchise. After decades of listening to various space people tell us that the Empire is evil and mostly seeing it represented with electrical finger zaps and telepathic strangulation, Andor plainly shows us its impact on everyday citizens who aren’t Jedis or space royalty. More than ever, you understand why so many feel the need to risk their lives to change the status quo. And with its story arc about undocumented migrant workers and surprise deportation squads, it all feels oddly relevant for a space opera.
The Worst Thing The Internet Tried to Sell Me 💸
Is it meant to be like a pet rock? Or more like Beanie Babies, if you’re going to ‘keep them all for yourself?’
The facial expressions are so unhappy for something that’s meant to be supportive of emotions. Here, this being that’s angry all the time will help you maintain a sense of calm. How Philadelphian.
Eff Yeah Science 🧪
With Katy Perry stealing the space spotlight this past month, it was easy to miss a true space science breakthrough. We have discovered perhaps the strongest evidence yet that there is life in other solar systems. Put by professor Nikku Madhusudhan, the lead astrophysicist for the study held at the University of Cambridge:
Decades from now, we may look back at this point in time and recognise it was when the living universe came within reach. This could be the tipping point, where suddenly the fundamental question of whether we’re alone in the universe is one we’re capable of answering.
124 light years away, K2-18 contains two chemical compounds that, on Earth, are only produced by lifeforms: dimethyl sulfide (DMS) and dimethyl disulfide (DMDS). Questions remain as to if the overall conditions on K2-18 could sustain life. Similarly, scientists are now looking to debate if DMS and DMDS can irrefutably be considered signatures of life, or if they could be generated by other unknown factors.
The findings, published in The Astrophysical Journal Letters, suggest concentrations of these chemicals thousands of times stronger than the levels here on Earth. Unfortunately, planetary bodies past our solar system are too far away to photograph or investigate with rover craft. We can estimate their density, size, temperature and chemical makeup via some truly wizard-like calculation; scientists track the exoplanet as it passes across the face of its host star, and measure the starlight filtered through its atmosphere. But without confirmation, we can only guess at the physical appearance of K2-19, which could contain an ocean, a gaseous mass, or even enormous bodies of (liquid hot) magma.
An also unlikely but not entirely impossible scenario: sharks with laser beams.
At least they didn't go with "Morty Morty! I'm emotional Support Pickle Rick" for their advertising.